


What the Water Gave Me

by Kayleegee



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Gen, Lazarus Pit, Pre-Season/Series 04, Summer of Olicity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-23
Updated: 2016-01-31
Packaged: 2018-05-15 16:03:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5791873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kayleegee/pseuds/Kayleegee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They are not all saints who use holy water- Proverbs</p><p>….or how Thea Queen spent her summer vacation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. June

The summer after she turned eleven, Thea’s mother signed her up for the Starling City Country Club’s Swim Team. For nearly three months, every weekday morning Thea would be up at the crack of dawn and diving into an ice cold swimming pool. For three months. Every weekday morning. It was as horrible as it sounds, but Thea did it. 

Mom and Dad were super proud when she brought home blue ribbons in the butterfly. Ollie couldn’t have cared less, but it could have been the hangover that lasted most of the summer. Thea, for her part, had no opinion on swimming. Winning ribbons was fun, but Thea wasn’t sure how or when a correct butterfly stroke would come in handy.

Ten years later, Thea is submerged into the Lazarus Pit and brought back from the brink of death. She doesn’t remember much, but she’s pretty sure the butterfly stroke wasn’t useful when she took a dip in Nanda Parbat’s customized hot tub. When she closes her eyes and tries to remember the pit she only feels the water, sliding down her body, thick like oil...no, not oil, blood. 

Thea shivers a bit with that thought and snaps her eyes open, looking at the clock on the nightstand. It’s nearly noon. After years as a ne’er do well teenager and then as a club owner, it’s easy to slip back into late morning wakeups. Thea slips out of Laurel’s guest bedroom, her bedroom now, and into the kitchen to make some coffee. 

She’s been doing patrols with Dig, learning the city’s nooks and crannies. Thea thought growing up in Starling City made her an expert, but she’s learned that’s not the case. There are so many alleyways, sewer lines, and abandoned buildings that help cover their presence in the city. You’d think the police would be thankful for help in stopping a bioweapon, but no, they’re still a bit cranky when it comes to vigilantes, and there’s a large population of Starling City that agrees with them.

“You’re sure you want to get into this?” Dig asked one night as Thea wearily shrugged off her red jacket. A drunk kid with a gun had fired shots at them down an alleyway. Thankfully, his abilities to stay standing and fire a gun were severely impaired, although Thea suspected it wouldn’t have mattered if one of his hands had been free of a bottle of whisky. 

Thea looked over her jacket. A stray bullet had whipped past Thea’s head, grazing her hood, the spot it tore was still warm to the touch. “It’s pretty amazing, drunk thugs aside,” Thea answered. “We get to help people. We saved the city just a few weeks ago, saved lives.” 

“Not everybody in the city is happy to see us, like that drunk kid,” Dig said. 

Thea quirked an eyebrow, “Is this a ‘you should really re-think your life choices’ talk? ‘Cuz I’ve had enough of those from my mother and Ollie.”

Dig chuckled, “I just need you to understand what you’re getting into. How dangerous this is.”

“More dangerous than Ra’s stabbing me?” Thea asked, a hint of petulant teenager in her voice she couldn’t help. 

“There are consequences to this type of life and if you’re not doing this for the right reasons, those consequences won’t be worth it. You’ll be weighed down by guilt and regret,” Dig said bluntly, as if Thea already wasn’t weighed down by those things. Dig hadn’t waited for an answer, just gave her a pat on the back and walked away. 

Last night, Thea and Laurel stopped a couple of Los Halcones from stealing a cache of weapons on its way to Monument Point Air Base. They had saved two airmen’s lives last night, and now three Los Halcones gang members are in police custody. The danger? Seems worth it.

Thea sits with her coffee on the couch. The coffee table is stacked with a backlog of magazines. She leafs through the Cosmo on top of the stack. Funny how a years ago she’d have read the magazine with rapt interest, taking in the tips and tricks for hair, makeup, sex. Two years ago Thea would’ve mistaken the beautiful, fierce model on the cover as someone to emulate, aspire to, with sultry lips, black bikini, and a take no prisoners attitude. Sure, Thea still loves fashion and she dog ears a page that showcases a new Essie nail polish, but really, there’s nothing more empowering than rappelling down the side of a building and beating down a few gang members. 

The last month has been one adrenaline rush after another. Leaping from building to building, 80 mph on Ollie’s Ducati, leaving low life thugs at the back of Captain Lance’s door. It’s a new high Thea has never experienced before, and she’s run the gamut of designer drugs. This is much better.

Her leg starts jiggling, restless energy trying to get out. Thea gets up and putters around, for lack of anything to do. Dig doesn’t think she should be going out in the day yet. He thinks too many questions will be asked after the almost dying thing. He thinks she needs to give it a few more weeks until she can feasibly pull off a full recovery in public. Thea still struggles to wrap her head around how close to death she was. There are some fragmented memories, like the memory of the water, but most of it is blurry, like an impressionist painting. There hadn’t been a lot of time to talk to Ollie about what’d happened before he and Felicity left, and Malcolm had been frustratingly vague on the matter. “You were stabbed in the gut. Modern medicine would not have saved you,” he’d said. Thea’s seen enough Grey’s Anatomy to know form an idea of how bad it must have been. So, right now, Thea has three options: Stay here, go to Lair 2.0 or go over to the Diggle’s. 

Thea’s phone decides for her, ringing out. She smiles as she picks it up, Ollie’s face popping up.

“Hey,” she greets him.

Thea can practically hear him grinning over the phone. “Hey, Speedy.” 

“How’s Italy?” Thea asks, settling back into the couch. 

“Good!” Ollie says, “We just got back from dinner, thought I’d check in.”

One of the best parts of talking to Ollie over the phone is Thea’s free use of eye rolls. “I’m fine, Ollie. Itching to shoot anybody?” Thea teases and laughs when Ollie huffs a bit.

“Not at all. I’m really liking this whole nobody trying to kill me thing,” Ollie says, and he means every word, Thea’s sure. She can’t quite understand it, the ease with which Ollie walked away, but he sounds happier than he’s been in years. “We’re taking a boat tour tomorrow.” 

“Well, this time try not to get shipwrecked,” Thea laughs. 

“That’s the plan,” Ollie returns. They talk for a few minutes more, both of them avoiding the topic of Thea vigilante-ing. Ollie has been supportive, in that he has offered no judgements or expressed his hesitance at her decision to become part of the team. All Ollie says when he begs off to go to bed is, “Stay safe, Speedy, I love you.”

“I love you,” Thea says and hangs up. A moment later a text from Felicity pops up, a photo of her and Ollie, disgustingly in love, heart eyes and everything. 

The restlessness is back and Thea flexes her hands then shakes them. Screw it. She throws some workout clothes on and heads to Lair 2.0. 

Thea feels better, more in control, as she cycles through the motions with her katana sword. Her focus zeroes in on the blade slicing through the air with precision and control. Who knew training with a sword was more relaxing than a massage? 

Thea loses track of time as she moves on from the katana sword and picks up her bow, quiver and the bucket of tennis balls. She’s been practicing and now she’s up to skewering three tennis balls at a time. It’s not as good as Ollie, not by a long shot, but her accuracy is getting way better. She’s proud of herself. Unlike the summer on the swim team, when she couldn’t understand what was so, so important about technique, she gets it now. Technique, training, is the difference between someone living and dying. It makes all the strained muscles, callouses, aches and pains much easier to deal with. There’s purpose to them. 

It’s her phone buzzing that pulls Thea away from training. It’s nearly six at night, and Laurel is texting, probably wondering where she is. Sure enough, Laurel’s text asks where Thea is, and if she wants any takeout from Martino’s Eatery. Cannoli sounds really, really good right now, and after Thea texts back, Laurel replies that she’ll be at the Lair in thirty with food. 

Thea cleans up her mess of butchered tennis balls and spends a few minutes stretching out her used muscles to cool down, really focusing on feeling her muscles tighten and relax. She stretches her legs, her hands cupping her calves, slick with sweat. She’s drenched all over, and feels like she’s taken a dip in swimming pool...or a pit. 

“Food is here!” Laurel calls out, bearing two bags of Italian takeout, and a large box that she sets down on a table with no explanation. Thea shakes off the uneasy chill that’s come over her and takes a bag from Laurel. They lay the food out picnic style, sitting on one of the training mats. 

“We’ve got to make sure Dig doesn’t find out we’re eating on this,” Laurel laughs. “I feel like this is a no-no.” 

Thea shrugs, “Ollie would probably have a bigger problem with it. 5 years on a deserted island turned him into a real neat freak.”

“Have you talked to him at all?” Laurel asks.

Thea nods. “Yup, today, actually. They are in Positano, sending me ridiculously cute photos.” 

“So, they’re doing well?” Laurel asks and there is no hint of jealousy. Some of Thea’s earliest memories were of Ollie and Laurel together. Laurel had always been so kind to Thea when Ollie would blow off his annoying, little pig-tailed sister. When Ollie got back from the island, Thea expected him and Laurel to figure things out. She’s not quite sure what happened, but Thea knows better than anybody that the island didn’t just change Ollie...it changed all of them.

“They’re doing great. Taking a boat tour or something tomorrow.” Thea replies. 

Laurel nods then asks, “How about you? What did you do today?” 

“Slept in, came here, worked out a bit,” Thea shrugs. It sounds a bit depressing when she says it outloud. 

“Well, maybe a few more weeks and you can start venturing out into public.” Laurel replies. 

Thea nods. “That would be awesome.” They finish eating, and quickly cleanup the mats, leaving no trace that they were there. As they finish cleaning up, Dig arrives with news. 

“I should have something in a few minutes on the location of the Los Halcones’ weapons cache,” he says, sighing. 

“In the meantime,” Laurel says, a big smile on her face, “an early birthday present.” She leads Dig over to the large box she brought in earlier. “Go on, open it.”

He looks at the box a bit disdainfully. “Is this from…”

“Cisco? Yep.” Laurel beams. 

“Who is Cisco?” Thea asks, confused.

“A friend,” Laurel says quickly. “Open it,” she says to Dig again.

He sighs, but does what she asks. He opens the lid, and pulls out a sick looking leather jacket. It’s black and sleek. Next, black leather pants are pulled out, and a leather vest. 

“Cisco incorporated the same kevlar weave he used on Oliver’s old suit,” Laurel says. 

“That is so cool!” Thea says, excited for Dig. For his part, Dig looks impressed as he inspects the handy work. Thea peers into the box for more, but it’s empty. “Wait...where’s the mask?”

Laurel grimaces a bit, “He’s still working on it. Give him another week, he should have it done.” Dig nods, not at all upset. He’s even worked up to a small smile on his face, tapping the bulletproof plates sewn into the vest. 

“Okay, go try it on,” Thea says. Dig quirks an eyebrow at her. “No buts, mister, go!” Thea pushes him in the direction of their makeshift locker room. 

When Dig comes back out a few minutes later, Thea finds herself way too excited as he marches in, looking totally badass. Thea and Laurel both devolve into a mass of giggles as Dig takes the jacket off, throws it over his shoulder and walks like he’s on the runway, stopping in front of them and jutting one hip out.

“You’re way too good at that,” Laurel says, a bit breathless from laughing. 

Dig laughs, “Lyla’s a big Project Runway fan.”

“Sure, Lyla’s the fan,” Thea teases.

Dig’s phone dings, interrupting their fun. He picks it up, and smiles, “She came through. I’ve got a location on the Los Halcones. Suit up.” 

Thea finds herself beaming as she puts her red suit on, and arms herself. She keeps beaming as she launches herself out of the black van they’re using and takes down not one, not two, but three Los Halcones thugs on her own. She beams as they drop off the thugs for Captain Lance. She finds herself still beaming as Dig cleans up a cut below her left eye. When she finally gets to bed at 4 in the morning, she’s still smiling, giddy almost at how good she feels. Cosmo can suck it.


	2. July

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s finally decided that Thea should be able to rejoin the land of the living, now that nearly two months have passed since Ra’s nearly killed her. The good news is that very few people actually know the extent of Thea’s dire injuries, so it should be relatively easy to rejoin the human race.
> 
> Should be easy, right?

It’s finally decided that Thea should be able to rejoin the land of the living, now that nearly two months have passed since Ra’s nearly killed her. The good news is that very few people actually know the extent of Thea’s dire injuries, so it should be relatively easy to rejoin the human race.

Thea quickly realizes, though, that in order to interact with “normal” people, you have to know “normal” people. When you melt away from the world like Thea did a year ago, it doesn’t stop living. According to Facebook Margot, Thea’s high school friend, is engaged, living in Opal City and majoring in pre-law. Shane, the guy before Roy, is stationed in Afghanistan. Even Mandy, the trainwreck bartender at Verdant, has her life together now, a husband and a baby.

There’s a stab of jealousy that Thea feels, and she’s not sure why. Two nights ago she jumped from the roof of one building to the other, chasing down a drug dealer. It was totally badass. She wants to do it again. She has no desire to go to college or join the army. And she most definitely has no desire to have a baby. Still, she’s a bit bothered by how quickly people have moved on with their lives finding new people and places to be, without Thea. 

It’s not an unfamiliar feeling for Thea. Everyone leaves eventually. She’d learned that when she was 12, her mother, eyes bloodshot, nose red, placid as she explained the yacht going down, that Ollie and Dad weren’t coming back. Since then, it’s been a revolving door of people that come and go through her life without any of them ever asking if it’s okay if they go.

Two years ago, Thea would have already begun spiralling into a pit of self-pity and loathing. She would have been upset, irrationally, that people had the audacity to live their lives and move on. 

Instead, when the mailman delivers a package postmarked from Bali, a reminder of someone else who left her, she happily opens it to find two colorful scarves, one for her and one for Laurel, the card from Felicity reads, as well as a red beaded necklace, with a helpful note from Ollie not to get it tangled up in her quiver.

The next day, Thea pairs the red necklace with jean shorts and a white tank top, and adds bright green pumps, because, why the hell not? 

Her first venture out into public and normality is to Starling National Bank to meet Walter for lunch. They’ve been texting back and forth, and lately he’s been very insistent they meet up. Thea’s excited to see Walter. He’s been super patient and understanding the past year, checking up on her every so often, it makes Thea feel a bit bad that she’s been spinning some pretty big lies to cover what’s been going on the past few months. 

Walter beams when she sees Thea and he hugs he. It’s a wonderfully familiar feeling, the way her head fits just under his chin, and she relaxes into his arms. So many things have changed, but that hasn’t, and it makes her smile. 

They walk to one of the fancy restaurants down the street from the bank, arm in arm. Thea catches up Walter on Ollie’s vacation exploits, while Walter laughs. 

“Truth be told, I thought he and Felicity started dating years ago,” he says as they’re seated at the restaurant. 

“Sometimes Ollie doesn’t make the best decisions,” Thea sighs, “Not dating her sooner is one of them.” 

“Well, I’m happy for your brother. He deserves a little happiness in his life,” Walter says. 

Thea nods, “We all do.” 

“I completely agree. What about you, Thea?” Walter asks over the top of his menu. “Anybody new in your life?” 

Thea thinks fleetly of Roy, and swallows down a bit of bitterness. “No one, for now.” She says, waving Walter off. “What about you?” She’s half joking when she asks, but Walter’s reaction instantly sobers her. He smiles a bit, and hesitates with an answer. There is someone. 

“I’ve been seeing someone, for about eight months now,” Walter answers. He looks carefully at Thea, waiting for her reaction. 

With as much poise as she can manage, she says, “That’s great, Walter. What’s her name?” 

“Laura. She’s an attorney at Weathersby and Stone,” Walter says.

Thea takes a sip of water, “I think those are the guys that mom used when I was facing that felony charge.” 

Walter chuckles, “Yes, you’re right.” 

The waiter arrives to take their order, and Thea prods Walter for more details on this Laura. She shouldn’t be surprised that Walter is seeing someone, he’s the best. He deserves to be happy, and from all accounts, Laura is great. She’s a senior partner at the firm, has two kids from a previous marriage, and she’s big into soccer, she’s funny and sweet, and she sounds perfect for Walter. Thea’s happy for Walter, she really is, but it’s the bombshell he drops towards the end of their lunch that nearly guts Thea, and she’s not sure why.

“I’ve asked her to marry me,” Walter says, and if he was watching carefully for Thea’s reaction before as he described Laura, he’s super focused on her face as he tells her. 

Thea is careful with the look on her face, placid and kind. “I’m really happy for you, Walter. I think Mom would be, too.” She takes Walter’s hand, squeezing it.

Walter looks square into her eyes, “Thea, I want you to know, this won’t change anything between us. I love you, and I will always be there for you, and your brother.” 

Thea nods, she knows every word Walter says, he believes. “Thank you.” 

Lunch is cut short by a phone call from the bank, alerting Walter about a bank robbery at the branch on Kent Street. He hurries out of the restaurant with a kiss on Thea’s cheek and a promise to talk soon.

She gets back home and sinks into the couch, finding tears sliding down her cheeks. As sincere as Walter is that he will always be there for her and Ollie, she knows better. He’ll marry Laura, and he’ll take in her two children like they are his own. Just like he did with Thea. But inevitably, something will have to give way for another, and Thea just can’t see how Walter fits in her new life of being Speedy or how she’ll fit into his new life with a new family. Everybody leaves.

She allows herself to cry for five more minutes before she wipes away her tears and tells herself to stop being such a baby. This is what old Thea would do. Sit and cry. She won’t be weak. Thea picks up her phone and dials Laurel. 

“What’s the plan for tonight?” Thea asks, a bit of bite in her voice. 

Laurel sighs, as she considers her answer, “Well, did you hear about Starling National? Bank robbery about an hour ago. SCPD could probably use some help.” 

“Good,” Thea replies, “I’m in the mood to punch someone.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” Laurel laughs. 

Laurel comes home with a pile of police and witness reports about the robbery. Three people, a security guard and two patrons are dead. The suspects got out with about 3.5 million dollars. Accompanying the reports are grainy pictures of the suspects. The suspects are decked in army fatigues, head to toe black, including the mask and goggles. There’s no way to identify them, and Thea can see why the police are stumped. There was no physical evidence left behind, and the shell casings from any bullets are impossible to trace. 

“They’ve somehow gotten rid of the microstamping on the shell casing,” Laurel says.

“Micro-what now?” Thea asks

Laurel sets down the file she’s perusing, “Shell casings are stamped using laser technology. Each one has a special numeric code, making it easier to track.” 

Thea furrows her brow. “And they tampered with the code?”

“Looks like it,” Laurel sighs. “That’s a bit unsettling.” 

“Why?” Thea asks. This is the part of being on the team she struggles at. She’s not great at investigating, like Laurel. She’s definitely the expert when it comes to putting the pieces together.

“Well, it takes ingenuity and know-how to circumvent the microstamping. These guys must have some pretty heavy duty resources, way beyond the usual Starling City criminal,” Laurel replies.

After two hours, they aren’t getting anywhere and decide to show everything to John the next day. Laurel, frustrated, decides she needs a meeting and leaves for the church on Broxton. 

Thea is thoroughly disappointed she won’t be punching anybody tonight, so ten minutes after Laurel leaves, she heads for the corner grocery store.

As she peruses the wine, a cute twenty-something walks past, brushing up against her back.

“Sorry,” he says, smiling slightly. 

“No worries.” Thea smiles back, biting her lip and self-consciously tucking her hair behind her ear. She side eyes the cutie to see if he’s watching. He is. Thea looks at the wine like it’s the most interesting in the world, and picks a red that’s on the top shelf. She’s wearing flats, so she stands on her tiptoes, her fingers barely brushing the bottom of the bottle, and 3...2...1...,

“Let me get that for you,” the guys says, and he pulls the bottle down easily. He hands it to her, and she sees his green eyes. Gorgeous green eyes.

When Thea takes the bottle, she shyly lowers her eyes. Textbook. “Thanks.”

“No problem,” he says. He smiles back and ducks his head, scratching the back of his neck. Thea notices he’s wearing a hoodie. Dear god. She has a type. He looks like he’s about to say something but he sees someone behind Thea and immediately straightens and puts some distance between him and Thea. Thea turns to see a pretty blonde walking towards them. 

Of course. Thea turns back to him, gives him the patented glare she’d learned from her mother, and walks away, hips most definitely swaying, past the blonde. Where’s the ice cream?

She gets back to the apartment, wine and ice cream in hand, and most definitely annoyed. To top off the day, Ollie texts with news that he and Felicity have landed in Bali. Cell reception will be spotty, so she probably won’t be able to get in touch with him. 

Thea sighs, tosses her phone down and downs two glasses of wine before Laurel’s due back. She stashes the rest of the wine in her closet, cleans her glass, and is waiting with the ice cream and two spoons when Laurel comes in. She commiserates with Laurel about the flirty guy and Walter, and between the two, they kill a pint between them before going to bed.

Laying in bed, Thea thinks back to the first year Ollie was back from the island. She had been confused as to how someone could come back from the dead, be given a second chance at life, and live it. It’d frustrated her, and now she finds herself in the exact same position. She’s come back from the dead, or near dead in her case, and her first day back amongst the normal people was an absolute fail. And the one person who could possibly have some insight is somewhere with no cell reception. 

“Isn’t it ironic, don’t ya think?” floats through her head. 

Well now the little voice in her head is just being a bitch. Thea sighs, turning to her side, squeezing her eyes shut. Come hell or high water, tomorrow, she’s going to find someone to punch.


	3. August

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s not the first time she’s woken like this. It’s the most vivid dream she’s had in months, but already, standing under the spray of hot water, it’s fading away. She tries to replay it in her mind, but all she’s left with is the feeling of a hand on her wrist, pulling. By the time she’s toweled off, there’s nothing of the nightmare, dream, whatever it was. She feels deeply unsettled.

Thea’s laid out on the lake’s dock, sunning herself. She’s in the white bikini that Dad most definitely huffed at, but Mom put a hand on his shoulder and suddenly he smiled at her, like it was okay. 

Laurel and Ollie took the boat out, and Thea’s trying not to feel left out. Ollie had told her under no certain terms was she going boating with them today and walked away from her, looking annoyed. Laurel, for her part, had hugged Thea and told her, “Tomorrow the three of us will go out. Promise.” 

So for now, Thea lays out, hoping she’ll get a nice glow. The dock rocks a bit underneath her, lulling her into sleep. The birds’ voices she hears in the distance slowly start to change. They take on a human tone, deep and menacing. It’s almost like they’re chanting. 

Even with her sunglasses on, Thea can tell clouds are forming over head, and she lazily opens her eyes to see a stone ceiling. Where’d the lake go? 

The rocking motion she’s feeling is no longer the dock, she’s on wooden planks being lowered, slowly. Thea looks down, seeing water swirling and bubbling beneath her. Her bikini is gone, replaced by some old grandma nightgown. 

She’s surrounded by men and women shrouded in black, but one man stands out. Ollie. Ollie’s here. He has one of the ropes. He’s helping to lower her in the water.

“Ollie!” She yells. She doesn’t want to go into the water. It’s black and dark. She can’t see what’s in it. “Ollie!” She tries again.

“I’m sorry,” he says, tears in his eyes. 

“What…” she begins but she’s submerged underwater. The water bubbles over the top of her head. She can’t see anything, only a faint greenish glow at the water’s surface. 

Time slows. The water doesn’t just get her hair wet, her clothing, her hair. It seems to saturate into her pores, into her bloodstream. It gets in her eyes, floods down her throat. It seeps into every part of her body, ripping it open. Every nerve is raw, painful.

She’s sinking to the bottom. She begins to kick, trying to get to the surface but it’s hard. The water isn’t easy to cut through. It’s thick like oil...no, not like oil...like blood. She feels herself flailing widely and she tries to calm down, think clearly, action, not reaction, Malcolm’s voice in the back of her head tells her. She shoves the pain into the back of her consciousness and keeps kicking, kicking, trying to swim to the surface, she’s almost there, almost…

Hands clamp down on her ankles, pulling her back down. She tries to kick them off, but she feels more hands on her arms, her waist, all over her body, pulling her to the bottom. She can’t see any faces, she can’t see a foot in front of her, but she feels the hands pulling her. They’re desperate. 

She’s getting tired struggling against the hands, Her arms and legs feel like lead, the fiery pain comes back to the forefront of her mind…

She’s almost to the bottom when he appears, savagely yanking away hands that are holding her down. The rest shrink back, seemingly in reverence to him. She immediately feels lighter, and the only hand she feels is his on her wrist, pulling her up, gently. 

When they’re almost to the surface he lets go and looks into her eyes before looking upward. “Protect me from her punishment,” he whispers to the surface before sinking back down.

She kicks up, the water near the surface clearing, she breaks through and…

Thea sits up in bed, gasping for breath. Her sweat has soaked through her pajamas, and she feels shaky and weak. 

Looking over at the clock, Thea sighs. There’s no way she’s going back to sleep now. Four hours of sleep will have to do. She finds her way to the shower.

It’s not the first time she’s woken like this. It’s the most vivid dream she’s had in months, but already, standing under the spray of hot water, it’s fading away. She tries to replay it in her mind, but all she’s left with is the feeling of a hand on her wrist, pulling. By the time she’s toweled off, there’s nothing of the nightmare, dream, whatever it was. She feels deeply unsettled. 

The Lair with her swords and bow beckons her. And she lets it. Thea spends hours training, letting herself focus on strengthening her skills. She feels marginally better after, able to shake off the unsettling feeling the nightmare left behind, but that feeling quickly disappears after her shower when she finds her father, Malcolm, sitting on one of the stools near their computer setup. He’s dressed in one of his signature suits, arms clasped together in his lap. He looks completely serene and when he sees Thea he smiles.

It makes Thea’s stomach churn, just a bit. “No, Dad, please come into our secret hideout.” 

Malcolm laughs, “It wasn’t very hard to find. I thought Ms. Smoak left the team with your brother.” 

Thea sighs. “She did. It’s kind of why this space looks the way it looks.” She gestures to the computer setup. According to Dig, he facetimed Felicity last week while he was here and she had visible tears in her eyes at the state of the technology in Lair 2.0. “But she was nice enough to lend us Palmer Tech’s basement.” 

Malcolm nods, then stands and approaches Thea. Her spine goes stiff. She never knows what to expect from her father. He could be ready to hand her a gift, or he could quite possibly pull out a knife to slice her throat. “Why are you here?” She asks.

“I had some business in the States and I thought I’d stop by to see you. How are you doing?” Malcolm says easily. 

“What business?” 

Malcolm unclasps his hands and it’s then that Thea sees a ring on her father’s finger. It looks like a monster’s head. “I’m here on League business.” 

Not a monster’s head. A demon’s head. “League business.” Thea repeats back. She shakes her head and turns away. “You’ve got to be kidding me.” 

“Oliver didn’t tell you.” Malcolm says, not entirely surprised. “I am Ra’s Al Ghul.” 

“How?” Thea growls. Thank god all the swords are put away.

“The man who does not perish at the blade of Ra’s Al Ghul shall become the next Ra’s Al Ghul. I survived torture at his hand,” Malcolm tries very hard not to look smug, but totally fails. 

Thea can’t help but be impressed by Malcolm’s ability to always come out on top. “Do I need to kiss your ring?”

“I don’t think that will be necessary,” Malcolm smirks. “You didn’t answer my question. How are you?” 

“I’m just peachy,” Thea says unconvincingly. 

The look on Malcolm’s face shows genuine concern. “What’s wrong?”

For a long second, Thea considers confiding in her father. She could tell him about the nightmare she had. He might have some insight, but her instinct is to hold her tongue. When Malcolm tries to be helpful, people end up dead. So no, she’s not going to ask for help. “I’m fine,” she says instead. “Just tired. I’ve been doing a lot of patrols. Rash of robberies in town.” 

Malcolm takes a long look at Thea. He knows she’s lying, Thea’s sure, but he says nothing about it. Instead he says, “Thea, if ever you need anything, I am your father and I will be there for you. I love you.”  
She takes a step forward towards Malcolm, puts on her sweetest smiles and says, “Malcolm, if ever I need your help, know that it’s my absolute last resort. But thanks.” He simply nods, a small smile on his face, and slinks off, probably back to his minions. 

Later she fills in Laurel and Dig on Malcolm’s new job, and their reactions are about what Thea expects. Laurel stomps off, headed to a meeting and Dig shakes his head, hands gripping the edge of the table before he shoves off and heads home to his family. So, no patrolling tonight. 

On the way home Thea constructs a very careful speech that she plans to give Oliver, about withholding pertinent information about her freaking father becoming the head of the League of Assassins. She downs a glass of wine to harden her resolve. Ever since Ollie told Thea about his big green secret, she’s found it a lot harder to yell at him because now that she knows the turmoil he’s been through, she feels an overwhelming need to protect him from even the slightest amount of pain. That includes his younger sister yelling at him for being his big dumb self. She pours herself another glass and dials, ready to lay into him the moment he answers the phone. Except it’s not him that answers.

“Hey Thea!” Felicity answers, giggling. “How’s it going?” 

“Hi! Um, it’s...going. How are you?” Thea asks.

“I’m really good. I’m watching your brother try to light a grill and it’s pretty funny.”

“A grill?” Thea asks, confused.

Felicity laughs, “Yeah, I wanted to buy a nice gas grill, but no, man of the land wanted an old school grill and now he can’t light it!” She dissolves into giggles. Thea’s not the only one drinking right now. 

Thea hears Ollie call out, “Find me an arrowhead and a rock, I’ll get it lit,” and she is suddenly thankful all their outdoor summer parties were catered growing up. “Give me the phone,” she hears Ollie say gruffly and there’s some rustling plus Felicity yelling “Bye, Thea!” and finally she hears Ollie’s voice, a bit breathless but bright. “Hey, Speedy.”

All the fight out of Thea dissipates. “Hey, Ollie. What the hell are you doing?”

“I’m trying to light the grill. It’s a new grill,” Ollie says. 

Thea’s confused, “Wait, you bought a grill? Where are you guys?” 

“Uh,” Ollie hesitates. “We are in Ivy Town...we kind of...bought a house.” 

“You bought a house in Ivy Town?” Thea squeezes her eyes shut. Another piece of information Ollie withheld. “Are you guys, like, staying there, for good?”

“It looks like it. We really liked traveling, but, I don’t know, we wanted something more, stable.” Ollie is apologetic. Thea had assumed they’d settle back in Starling City, especially now that Felicity owns Palmer Tech. 

“What’s wrong with Starling City, soon to be Star City?” Thea asks, a bit hurt. 

Ollie is quiet for a moment before saying very softly, “It gets pretty dark there...I get pretty dark.” 

Thea is immediately embarrassed for her petulance and judgement. It’s frustrating not to know everything that Ollie’s been through, but if this is what Ollie needs to be happy, then Thea is going to be the most sickeningly supportive sister ever in the history of the world. 

“Ollie, if you’re happy, I’m happy,” Thea says. 

“I am,” he replies, absolute. “What about you? How are you doing?” 

She should tell him about the nightmare. He’d want to know, want to help. He’s a fixer. Her fixer. But to be her fixer, Ollie would be pulled back into the crazy, dark vigilante life that he’s resolved to leave behind. He’d take on her darkness in addition to his own. So, the answer is simple.

“I’m doing great,” Thea says as assuringly as she can, but before Ollie can reply to her she hears him call out, “No, babe, we don’t need anymore lighter fluid.” Thea finds herself forgotten for a moment as she hears some muffled yelling before Ollie comes back to the phone.

“Can we talk later? There’s a...lot of smoke,” he says nervously. 

“Sure, send me some pics of the house,” Thea says. 

“Will do, if Felicity doesn’t burn the house down,” Ollie says. Thea hears Felicity yell in the background, “Shut up, you caveman!” 

“Love you,” Ollie says laughing and hangs up. 

Thea hangs up and tosses her phone onto the coffee table. She reaches to finish her wine, but instead takes it to the sink and pours it out. She finds herself in her room on the floor with a meditation candle in front of her. Maybe clearing her mind before bed will help.

It doesn’t.


	4. September

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ollie calls her on a cool September morning. Thea’s still in bed, exhausted from last night’s epicness. That’s all she can call it. Epic. She actually jumped from the roof of a moving van to the roof of a moving car. And she didn’t fall off. It was so awesome.

Ollie calls her on a cool September morning. Thea’s still in bed, exhausted from last night’s epicness. That’s all she can call it. Epic. She actually jumped from the roof of a moving van to the roof of a moving car. And she didn’t fall off. It was so awesome.

The best part is that Thea came home so tired, she slept through the night without the nightmare she’s been having on and off for the last month, The memories of the nightmare vanish quickly, leaving Thea to feel uneasy and sick to her stomach. She’s tried meditating to try and remember the nightmare, remember the memories that might be hiding behind it, but she’s had no luck. So now she’s just trying to find ways to make herself so exhausted, her brain is too tired to think up that gobbledygook. Daredevil stunts seem the way to go. 

When Ollie calls, Thea is considering what to do with her day, oddly content with doing nothing. She parkoured the crap out of two cars last night. She could take the week off if she wanted. She’s unstoppable.

“Hey, Ollie,” she says brightly.

“Hey,” he replies. “How are you?”

“Fantastic! How’s suburbia? I keep meaning to send you some white socks and sandals,” Thea teases then lets out a loud yawn.

Ollie laughs, “I’m okay, thanks. Did I wake you up?”

“No, I was awake, contemplating going back to sleep,” Thea says. “What are you and Felicity up to?” 

“Felicity is out getting her hair done, she’ll be gone for a while. And I wanted to talk to you about something.” Ollie’s voice grows a bit serious.

“What’s wrong? Is everything okay?” Thea reflexively sits up in bed, ready to jump out of it and kick some ass. She might stop to put some clothes on. Might.

Ollie lightens a little, “I’m fine, Felicity is fine. Everything is good.” 

“Okay, then what do you want to ask me about?” Thea flops back onto her bed.

Ollie is silent a moment. “The last eight years, since the boat went down, I wasn’t...I wasn’t living. I was surviving...it wasn’t much of a life.” Thea holds her breath. When Ollie gets open and raw like this, she finds terrible things out, like that Dad committed suicide or he knew that she wasn’t his biological child. Oh god, what is he about to tell her now?

“The past few months, though, have been amazing. I never thought I’d be happy, and Felicity has a lot to do with it...Everything to do with it,” Ollie says slowly. Is it possible one of them has a terminal disease? 

“I’m really glad for you, Ollie,” Thea is unsure what to say. “What does all this mean?”

“I’m going to ask Felicity to marry me,” Ollie replies.

Thea lets out an honest to god squeal of joy. “Ollie!! That’s awesome! Congratulations!!” There are tears in her eyes and she’s not sure if it’s tears of joy or tears of relief that it’s actually good news he’s giving her. 

“Thank you, but I need your permission for something,” Ollie says.

Thea wipes away some tears, “Don’t you need to ask Felicity’s parents for permission?” 

Ollie laughs, “Not that kind of permission, although I don’t think her mom will be able to keep this kind of secret.”

Thea huffs, “Okay, what do you need from me?”

“Well, I wanted to give Felicity Mom’s engagement ring...from Dad,” Ollie replies, “but only if you’re okay with it. And don’t lie to me and say it’s okay. If you want the ring, it’s yours.” 

“I absolutely do not want it. It’s yours,” Thea jumps up standing on top of the bed, for no other reason than to jump up and down, the mattress springs creaking. “Ollie, Mom and Dad would be so excited!” 

“You think so?” Ollie asks, self-conscious.

“Absolutely,” Thea replies. They’re both silent a moment, Thea feeling more tears spring up in her eyes. “When are you going to ask her?” 

“I don’t know,” Ollie answers.

“Okay, how are you going to ask her? Where are you going to ask her?” Thea prods. “I can get on Pinterest right now, email you some ideas.”

It’s Ollie’s turn to huff. “I don’t know, Thea, I haven’t gotten that far. First things first, I need to get the ring.” 

“Oh, yeah,” Thea giggles. “It’s in the safe deposit box. I will go today to get it, and take it to the jewelers to get cleaned. I’ll text you when I put it in the mail.” 

“Sounds good. Super non-descript package,” Ollie says.

“Got it,” Thea says, still jumping up and down on the bed. 

“Thea? You cannot tell anybody, okay? Nobody!” Ollie says, still serious.

“Cross my heart.” Thea stops jumping for a moment, the full weight of what’s happening hitting her. “Ollie,” she whispers, tears overcoming her again, “You’re getting married.” 

“I am,” he replies thickly, reverently. 

Once they hang up, Thea jumps up and down on the bed for a few more minutes, completely joyful, and fantasizing about her bridesmaid dress. Finally, things are looking up for the Queens. 

She quickly gets ready and goes to First Bank of Star City and gets the ring out of her safety deposit box. She opens the ring box, and marvels at its beauty. The tears start forming in her eyes again as she lightly touches the ring, looking at it brilliantly shine. Felicity will love it. 

The jewelry store across the street cleans it for her, and she makes quick work of packaging and addressing the box to her brother Ollie. As he requested, she makes the package look super non-descript. Once it’s in the mail she texts Ollie with a smiley emoji. He responds with a thumbs up emoji, that makes Thea smile.

Thea doesn’t lose the good mood, even later that night in the team’s black van, Dig behind the wheel. They’ve been trying to track the string of robberies that started with a smaller Starling National branch and escalated last week to Larsen Credit Union, the largest credit union in town, with a bunch of other bank branches and jewelry stores in between. 

Dig’s had someone tracking the money (Thea’s pretty sure it’s Felicity, but she’s not touching that with a ten foot stick) and they’ve had no luck finding it. Without any other leads, they’ve resorted to staking out the last bank in Star City that hasn’t been hit- Starling Trust Bank. 

“Alright,” Dig says as he slips on his new helmet, “Laurel, take the back emergency exit, I’ll take the front. Thea, take the roof. Do not engage if you don’t have to. We need intel, how many of them there are, what direction they’re coming from, that sort of thing. Got it?” 

Thea nods, Laurel, too, and they exit the van. 

“Hey guys,” Dig says over their coms, “Heads on a swivel.”   
“Copy that,” Laurel replies and squeezes Thea’s shoulder before slinking into the shadows around to the back of the bank’s building. 

Thea begins to nock a jettisoning arrow to get to the top of the building but Dig stops her, pointing to the fire escape that’s above them and linking his hands together so that she can put her foot on them. She rolls her eyes, because Dig is absolutely no fun and he gives her a leg up to grab the ladder. Thea pulls herself up, nods her begrudging thanks, and heads up the fire escape like some kind of normal person who can’t climb a building by jettisoning high tensile strength polymer cables. No fun at all.

When she gets to the top of the building next to the bank, she looks out at Star City. Around her downtown is bright and still chatty, sirens and car horns. In the distance the Glades look like a mountain range, some buildings standing tall, others crumbling in disrepair. Thea feels a stab of shame, her parents the cause of all the pain and sadness trapped there. In her own small way, keeping the club open after the Undertaking was Thea’s attempt to help, but now that she’s closed the club permanently, she feels like she’s failed the Glades again. For now, being Speedy and protecting the Glades and the rest of the city in the shadows will have to do.

Dig’s words echo in her mind, and Thea scans the rest of the skyline, looking for any type of rooftop movement. She’s just about to turn her com on to let Dig and Laurel know she doesn’t see anything when a bullet whizzes by her left shoulder. She ducks and whips around to see a man dressed in dark army fatigues and armed to the teeth. He launches himself at her and gets a few hits in before she’s able to return the favor, kneeing him in the groin and then swinging her bow as hard as she can at his head. He stumbles back, towards the edge, and quickly leaps over it, down onto the fire escape. 

Thea taps her com, “I had one on the roof, he’s going down the fire escape.” 

“Which way is he headed?” Dig asks.

She stands up on the ledge, ready to get her jettisoning arrow out to fly down so she can intercept the suspect, but he’s gone. Totally gone. How did he do that? “He’s gone,” she says in disbelief. What the hell?

Thea backs away from the edge, eyeing the bank’s roof next door. She takes a running start and leaps over to the bank, ending in a somersault that is sure to leave her right shoulder bruised, but it’s totally worth it. That was awesome. 

Standing up, Thea makes out two more suspects on the roof, and she quickly dispatches one with an arrow to the shoulder. She charges the other, using her legs as much as possible, but this one is well-trained, and for the first time, probably since fighting Ra’s in the loft, does Thea feel outmatched. This guy is deflecting all her hits and kicks, and when she tries to use her bow to smack him, he’s able to deflect it and wrench it out of her hands. He throws the bow to the side before kicking Thea right in the stomach. 

Thea drops to the ground, black spots clouding her vision, and she gasps for air. The suspect grabs her by the front of her jacket, and for a split second, Thea’s heart stops because he suddenly looks like Ra’s. She takes as big of breath as she can muster, and grabs his wrists, and jumps up, kicking him in the chest with both feet as hard as she can. He immediately releases his grip and she quickly puts her feet underneath herself again, landing hard on the ground. 

The guy stumbles back and it’s not Ra’s any longer, just the faceless army fatigue wearing robber. Well-trained, army fatigue wearing robber. Thea takes the opportunity of his off balance stance and kicks him to the ground and taking an arrow from her quiver, slams it into his leg. He howls in pain, and Thea feels warmth spread in her stomach. She feels oddly satisfied, though she’s not quite sure if it’s because she managed to take him down or the pain filled screams. Either way, she feels good. 

“Speedy? Where are you?” Laurel booms over the com, and from the frantic tone of her voice, Thea thinks she might have been trying to get a hold of her over the com. 

“I’m here, ran into some trouble. I’m okay,” Thea assures Laurel.

“Dig and I did as well. They got away with some money, but not all of it,” Laurel replies. “Where are you?”

“Roof,” Thea says. She heads over to the suspect, still on the ground. He’s still writhing in pain, so Thea’s able to wretch off his goggles and balaclava. He’s a white male (because they’re aren’t enough of those running around with guns) with a dad haircut and ugly goatee. He begins to reach up for Thea but she quickly grabs on to the arrow in his leg and twists it, sending his arms and head back to the ground in agony. “Who do you work for?” Thea growls. 

The man sneers at her instead of answering, so Thea twists the arrow again and repeats the question. He howls at her, and Thea feels a small smile spread across her face, and she’s tempted to twist the arrow again just to hear him scream. His mouth opens slightly, but instead of saying anything, he clamps his teeth together, and Thea’s smile melts away while one spreads across the man’s face as he lays his head back. It’s Thea’s turn to grip him by the front of his jacket, but rather than look at Thea he looks straight up at the night sky. Suddenly his body starts to shake, his breaths come in short spurts, and the last bit of spark leaves his eyes. Thea releases his jacket in revulsion. He’s dead. 

She looks to the other suspect she hit in the shoulder, but he’s gone. She approaches where he went down slowly, picking up her bow and nocking an arrow just in case. There’s no trace of the man, like he wasn’t even there. 

The roof’s access door swings open behind Thea, and she whirls around, bow at the ready, but it’s Laurel and Dig. Dig does a quick sweep while Laurel makes her way to Thea. Laurel’s sporting a scrape on her chin as well as an already blooming bruise on her cheek. 

“You okay?” Laurel asks. 

Thea nods, though she’s a bit freaked about the guy who disappeared with an arrow in his shoulder and another guy dead with an arrow in his leg. 

Laurel follows Thea’s gaze. “Is he…?” she trails off.

“Yeah. I don’t think I hit an artery, so I don’t know how he died,” Thea says. Any satisfaction she’d built up is gone. 

“We don’t have time to figure it out,” Dig says as he approaches. “SCPD is on their way. They’ll collect the body and figure out cause of death.” 

Thea takes one last look at the dead man, eyes open toward the sky.

On the way back to the Lair, Dig and Laurel fill Thea in on what they’d seen. Masked men, heavily armed, and very well trained, and able to disappear like ghosts. All three are disheartened after tonight, with nothing to show for their efforts. 

Thea for her part, replays the fight with the guy that died. The more she thinks about it, she’s sure she didn’t hit an artery. She knows she wasn’t the cause of his death...but she did cause him a lot of pain, and now that the adrenaline is wearing off and she has time to reflect, she feels a little nauseous at how easily she twisted the arrow in the guy’s leg. 

Thea doesn’t go home with Laurel. Instead, she heads to the cemetery, to see her mother. While there’s not a day that goes by that she doesn’t think about her mother, or her father, she hasn’t been great about visiting either one of them. 

Thea sinks down to her knees in front of her mother’s grave, the dewy grass soaking through her jeans. Talking to her mom here used to be easy, but it’s hard not to think about what Moira would think of her daughter right now. 

Thea replays the fight with the guy that died. The more she thinks about it, she’s sure she didn’t hit an artery. She knows she wasn’t the cause of his death...but she did cause him a lot of pain, and now that the adrenaline is wearing off and she has time to reflect, she feels a little nauseous at how easily she twisted the arrow in the guy’s leg. 

She’d felt calm, grabbing the arrow with a firm hand and twisting to the left ever so slightly, feeling the resistance of muscle as it scraped against the arrowhead. Why was that so easy for her? 

Rain starts to fall, and slowly saturates Thea’s clothes, but she doesn’t move. 

Thea thinks back to the night her life ended, the night Ra’s killed her. She thinks of her resurrection. It was supposed to put the pieces all back together, and for awhile, it felt like it had. But what if it had given her something else?

“Mom,” Thea says, emotion seeping through. She struggles for words. She’s not exactly sure what she wants, what she needs from her mother right now, but she needs something.   
There’s a rumble of thunder in the distance, and Thea instinctively looks in that direction, to the east of the cemetery...where Sara’s buried. Lighting cracks and Thea swears she sees an imposing figure walking towards her, a bloodied sword in his hand. 

She looks up to the sky, rain and tears mix. “Tell me I’m doing okay. Tell me I’m going to be okay.” 

A breeze starts to blow through, but rather than feel a cold chill, Thea feels a warmth spread across her skin and seep into her bones, into her heart. She should be shivering, but she isn’t.

The rain stops, quite suddenly, and though there’s thunder in the distance, it’s died down, for now. Thea looks back to Sara’s grave and the man with the sword has vanished. 

“Thanks, mom,” Thea says. She stands up and places a hand on her mother’s gravestone. “I’m okay,” Thea tells her mother. 

“I’m okay,” she tells herself. 

She leaves, with a promise to bring calla lilies tomorrow.

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from "What the Water Gave Me" by Florence + the Machine


End file.
